Staying Strong When You Miss Them the Most: Coping with Grief During the Holidays

copingwithloss , grieving , griefjourney , lifeafterloss

The Iron Empath

Photo by Eric Antunes on Pexels.com

The title is called “staying strong” but let me be clear. Staying strong does not mean harboring all emotion to get through Christmas dinner without crying. You don’t need to block out, hide from, or deny your grief. Many people wrongly equate “staying strong” with not breaking down in public, speaking emotionlessly or avoiding the topic of grief altogether. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to “stay strong” in this way.

Staying strong to me means continuing to be your most authentic self in the midst of loss. This means acknowledging the pain you feel is valid and a part of who you are now. It means if you need to cry at dinner, then that’s not called “breaking down.” That’s a perfectly acceptable testimony of your love for that person.

It’s been 5 years since my mom died and…

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Minding your business is free

10,000 hours

Listen. I am not exaggerating when I say I have wild kids. Listen to any episode of Sharts and Giggles on the internet, and see that my kids are about two degrees below hers. One has ADHD. One feeds off the one with ADHD. And the baby finds the loudest thing he can do and scream-giggles while doing it. Wild.

For my own sanity, I am a hands-off parent. If they’re not hurting anyone nor destroying property, I let them play. Maybe it annoys people, I don’t care. I’m rarely out of the house, so people can deal.

So today of all days. When I barely slept, had to get three kids out in below freezing weather, and barely made it out the door is the day a bitch wants to try me.

Within five minutes of walking through the door, she is telling my kids to sit down and…

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A Friend Will Help You Move, A True Friend Will Help You Move a Body (j/k ;) )

We’ve shared countless laughs, tears, smiles, giggles, frustrations, and basically every emotion under the sun. If you can think of an emotion, we’ve been through it together. I think our time, mine and yours, would be better spent telling you the things I’ve learned from our 24 years of friendship.

Read the (short, quick + easy) full post post to learn about Katie’s 4 simple lessons — to which she adds at the end:

There are so many other things I have learned from my friendships and relationships, but I want you all to actually read this…not open it, see that it’s 15 pages long, and then hit the X button. Until my next post, I’ll just be living the Dream…

 

My ray of sunshine

Fighting For Freedom

I feel a bit more gratitude today which is something I can lose when I’m not in a great place.

I planned on doing nothing today but a friend text at 9am asking to meet up for a brew. I wasn’t really feeling it but I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and into the bath (always love a good bath!). Threw on some leggings, my “believe in yourself” top and a hoodie, teamed with my Primark £6 converse. Wasn’t really feeling the make up today but wore it anyway as my skin is horrendous. Braided my hair as was I shite messing on with straightening it today. Left the dishes, something I never do as I’m a germ freak but thought fuck it.

Got to George st and wasn’t really feeling being around people so I changed tables five times. And then my friend came.

I mean yeah…

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