Anxiety and Relationships

anxiety , comfort , couple , happiness , health , mental , mental health , relationship , zone

learn to bloom

More and more people suffer with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) these days. Like myself, many others tend to distance themselves in order to avoid being hurt or having their issues affecting those who surround us.

Being in a relationship can be a daunting thought or experience. You meet somebody new who knows nothing about you, they don’t know how you behave, act or how you think about things. You soon learn new things about one another and start to feel a connection. You start to love both the good traits and flaws of each other. However, there are times when anxiety gets the best of you. It can be days, weeks or months of feeling like you’re not sure if this was the best idea. Should I have got myself into this situation? Is this a bad time? Have they started to lose the spark or have I?

Chances are…

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Dating Is So Hard!!

African girls don’t ask guys out, Dating, happiness, Lonely, Love, Single life, TOE

TOE's Diary

Been wondering why dating has to be so hard for me when every one else seems to be having it easy. I always feel hyperventilated when I get the question “are you seeing someone?”

I recently asked my friends to tell me why I am single. Majority of them said I don’t go out enough. While others said I don’t put myself out there enough. As a result they set me on a couple of blind dates (I didn’t like) and they signed me up for dating apps (majority of the people I met there were either creepos or misfits) so I took down the apps.

I decided to do things differently 6 months ago when I moved to a new city. I challenged myself to ask 3 guys in the new city out on a date. This is something I always said I was never going to do when…

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very controversial thoughts on guys downgrading

breakups , commitment , downgrade , ex , happiness , happy , heartbreak , love , relationships , upgrade

comingofage98

The other day I was talking to one of my guy friends about guys downgrading. The topic came up because one of my female friends hooked up with a guy from our class but she lost interest and I was saying how I feel bad for the guy because now he has no choice but to downgrade since my friend is really beautiful and amazing. He was really lucky he even got attention from her and even I was really shocked that she had a thing for him. But the thing is I feel like even if the guy downgrades, I feel like he would be happy because they are programmed to adapt, and make do with what they have. It is not that deep of an issue for them, it is more like quantity than quality for them or as long as they have something, preferably the best they…

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Age ain’t nothin but a number?

acceptable age gap, adventure, baggage, demanding careers, fun, good career, intimacy, kids, messy divorces, Older men, preference, privacy, younger men

The musings of a 30 something singleton

“What is an acceptable age gap”? is question that has come up repeatedly in my conversations with my friends. This is of course very personal and everybody has their own preference. My own personal view is don’t go out with anyone more than 15 years older or more than 10 years younger. Older men are very attractive because they usually have a good career, income and lifestyle and generally “know what they are doing” in dating and in the bedroom. However they may come with baggage (messy divorces, kids, demanding careers) and may be reliving a lost youth and will not necessarily want to settle down with you. A younger man usually appeals to our sense of fun and adventure, yet they may be too young to settle down and may not have much financial security. It’s not that we are expecting a guy to support us, but if he…

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“Doing My Thing” Means Loving My Man

dating, happiness, life, live your best life, love, marriage, psychology, relationships, romance

I hate when people say, “Just do your own thing!” without understanding that being one with a man is “my thing”. That is my chosen purpose in this world. That is where my ultimate happiness comes from… as well as all the things that are worth even more than happiness.

Not everyone can find happiness on their own, and that’s fine. Not everyone who can find happiness on their own is content with it. Some people want more; the infinite fulfillment that comes with merging with another.

If I’m not seeking/experiencing love with a man, then I am not “doing my thing”; because that ismy thing.

And lastly, once you’ve become one with a person, “their thing” is “your thing”, and yours is theirs.

Stop it with the isolationist bullshit. Everyone’s “thing” should be finding and basking in true romantic love.

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Breaking Barriers: Overcoming Social Anxiety and Putting Myself Out There

personal development , relationships , personal growth , networking , communication , social , anxiety , breaking barriers , relationship building , overcoming , social butterfly

Serendipity & Such

I wanted to be a social butterfly, but I was honestly more of a social moth.

By nature, I’ve never really been a fan of people. I don’t want to say I ‘dislike’ or ‘hate’ people, but I’m definitely an introvert that values my solitude. It’s funny to say that, given how talkative I was as a kid. So much so that I didn’t realize that sometimes I would really annoy or bother people (namely my older sister). So rather than a social butterfly, I guess you could say I was a social moth. I was friendly and talkative to the point that I was just overbearing and hard to tolerate. Eventually, I became more concerned with being a burden to someone or annoying them. But instead of finding a proper balance, I ultimately just solved the problem by not initiating conversation with people at all. Even if someone did…

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Am I the Only One Who Actually Enjoys Dating?

blog, blogger, blogging, dating, featured, fun, funny, Lifestyle, online dating, Opinion, Personal

Buffalo Sauce is a Vegetable

So I think there’s enough literature out there about how awful dating is and how online dating especially is worse than getting root canal and getting your eyes clawed out by a tiger while your great Aunt Sue comments on how chubby you’ve gotten.

So this may come as a shock to you…I actually enjoy dating. I even like online dating.

Hell, I didn’t even realize until recently that I’m in the minority.

I was driving home talking to my ex on the phone chatting away about how I didn’t understand why my best friend wouldn’t give OKCupid a try. And suddenly he erupted at me:

“MAYBE SHE JUST DOESN’T LIKE DATING, RENATA!”

Nonsensical, I thought. What could be bad about dating?

Now, I do want to take a moment to point out that there is actually a dangerous side to dating, especially for women, and I understand anyone would…

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