Why A Normal Relationship Is So Hard After a Toxic One.

Open Topic

Perfectly Imperfect Blogg

Toxic relationships are difficult because a lot of time, they don’t start out that way. They start off healthy and good and make you very happy. And the gradual shift isn’t so much caused by the other person, but sometimes two people together just stop being good for each other. And it’s hard to step away from that. 

When you’ve grown with someone then suddenly they become toxic to you, it’s hard to accept “I’d be better off without this person,” when in reality so much of who you’ve become is because of them.

When someone becomes a habit it’s hard to just cut them out of your life.

Anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship can look back at the person and they aren’t going to say they were these monsters who were horrible. There is a deep rooted love there that a lot of people struggle…

View original post 1,161 more words

Advertisements

It’s a Match!

adulting, bumble, dating, independence, life, love, online dating, relationship, self-love, strong, tinder, woman, women, zerotohero

ARIANNE

Let’s talk about online dating a.k.a. “the swipe life”…. *cracks neck*

To start this off, I’m not posting this article to encourage everyone to use dating apps (unless they’ll upgrade my account to premium for free hihi joke) but if you decide to try online dating please don’t blame me if things go south. Use it at your own discretion.

Online dating is simply judging people based on their looks and their bios (well only if they have one and unless you read them) and then narrowing it down to the most important question: “are you worth my time and energy?”.

I would like to talk about the PROS AND CONS OF ONLINE DATING first.

Disclaimer: These might not apply to everyone or you might disagree with me on some of the points I’ve listed and that’s totally fine cos I’m well aware that our situation differs from each other…

View original post 958 more words

He’s just not that into you & other revelations

blog, Amsterdam, journal

De Dutch Diaries

Sometimes he’s just not that into you. You send a text hoping for an elaborate reply on how much he misses you. Or at least any reply at all. Instead you’re left with a big fat giant ‘read’ on your Facebook messenger.

Cue social mortification.

I had a melodramatic breakdown about a week ago (which you may have caught on if you read the previous post). But I guess your 20s are just filled with existential dread and crises, one after another after another until you hit 30! I’m presuming they stop by then, right? Hopefully by the time I have my own flat in NYC,  where I will write and live a private life with my dachshund called Jimmy.

So now the emotional tidal wave has flattened out and I’m beginning an upward loop. It’s almost as if I went so far low that I’ve been catapulted to…

View original post 779 more words

Prologue..

blog , dating , lifestyle

Venus Is Scorned

“I don’t even have TIME to cheat! When would I even find the time?”

This was an actual response that my (new) Ex-boyfriend used to defuse and deflect multiple times over the course of 10 years.

I am a very vulnerable person with a select few people on this Earth, and I am loyal to an extreme fault.

When I heard he had a dream, I used all of my resources and did everything in my power to make it come true. I do that for everyone that I love.

Over the last 10 years my resources have gotten him a musical performance career that he had only dreamed of since he started playing the guitar as a kid.

He got his fame and put me on the back burner, so over the last few months I saved up some money and ended it.

We ended on friendly terms, because…

View original post 80 more words

Modern Dating Sucks

dating, ghosting, relationships, tinder

Thoughts Of A NE Girl

This post is about a very recent dating experience that I had. It was one that I was very much looking forward to and that I felt was going quite well. As you’ll see from the below, I clearly misjudged this. I have changed my dates name, just out of courtesy. Not that he afforded the same to me.

Photo by Quaid Lagan on Unsplash

Back in July, I was just home from 3 weeks travelling in Rajasthan,
India. I’d had a fantastic time, met some wonderful people, seen some
extraordinary things and eaten some excellent food. But now I was home and it
was back to reality. As you do when you’re bored these days, I opened Tinder
and started swiping through, mostly uninterested because let’s be fair, it’s quite
hard to be attracted to someone that you don’t know.

Things changed and I got a little excited when…

View original post 1,205 more words

Understanding Dating, Relating and Mating

advice , connection , dating , mating , online-dating , relationships , sex

Unleashing the Cougar!

I came across this article when I was doing some research for this blog (and the book behind it) about search engine terms and questions people look to have answered on the fascinating subject of dating.

It’s interesting to read of appropriate ‘phases’ in relationships, and the idea that everything has a time and a place.

I guess we imbibe this in the many social and cultural cues that surround us from the moment we enter the world, even within our own home. Our backgrounds clearly influence who we become – if we are raised in a family of over-sharers or over-relaters, that is bound to have an affect on how we interact with others, just as the opposite is true.

Having said this, a part of me rebels at the idea of ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to go about living our lives and forming relationships. Some of the most…

View original post 846 more words

The Wednesday Rule: Conversations for Succesful Dating

boundaries , commitment , conflict , conversations , dating , love , talk , wednesday

Dating
can have extreme highs and lows. When I take a look back on some of my
relationships that didn’t work out, I noticed one thing that they all have in
common,I was not open about my needs early in the dating process. I was
just a go with the flow type girl and most of the times things didn’t flow my
way. What I’m sharing with you today are
fourconversations that I believe we all
should have at the beginningof the dating process. These
conversations give your possible partner
an understanding of what you are looking for and what they can expect from
you.

COMMITMENT LEVEL

Withsituation-ships on the rise, dating with purpose is very important. I want you to be open and honest with the person you are dating when it comes to the type of relationship you are looking for. When my boyfriend and I started dating…

View original post 1,100 more words