I feel like I wasn’t supposed to change…

pvdpaige

After spending the first half of my winter break from uni still in Sunderland; due to work commitments, I finally returned back to my home in the Shire after christmas, in the new year. With many of my friends from the area already having gone back to uni for their second semester, I found myself with limited friends to see whilst I was back- many of these friends I’d not spoken to/barely spoken to for a couple of months, mainly because of me taking time to better my mental health.

Once reconnecting with some of the friends I hadn’t spoken to and having some time to take in the situation of my decision of the past months, it became apparent that there was animosity towards me for taking this time to heal and develop.

I know the story; I cut out everyone at first, I needed to space to deal…

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Staying Strong When You Miss Them the Most: Coping with Grief During the Holidays

copingwithloss , grieving , griefjourney , lifeafterloss

The Iron Empath

Photo by Eric Antunes on Pexels.com

The title is called “staying strong” but let me be clear. Staying strong does not mean harboring all emotion to get through Christmas dinner without crying. You don’t need to block out, hide from, or deny your grief. Many people wrongly equate “staying strong” with not breaking down in public, speaking emotionlessly or avoiding the topic of grief altogether. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to “stay strong” in this way.

Staying strong to me means continuing to be your most authentic self in the midst of loss. This means acknowledging the pain you feel is valid and a part of who you are now. It means if you need to cry at dinner, then that’s not called “breaking down.” That’s a perfectly acceptable testimony of your love for that person.

It’s been 5 years since my mom died and…

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A Friend Will Help You Move, A True Friend Will Help You Move a Body (j/k ;) )

We’ve shared countless laughs, tears, smiles, giggles, frustrations, and basically every emotion under the sun. If you can think of an emotion, we’ve been through it together. I think our time, mine and yours, would be better spent telling you the things I’ve learned from our 24 years of friendship.

Read the (short, quick + easy) full post post to learn about Katie’s 4 simple lessons — to which she adds at the end:

There are so many other things I have learned from my friendships and relationships, but I want you all to actually read this…not open it, see that it’s 15 pages long, and then hit the X button. Until my next post, I’ll just be living the Dream…

 

My ray of sunshine

Fighting For Freedom

I feel a bit more gratitude today which is something I can lose when I’m not in a great place.

I planned on doing nothing today but a friend text at 9am asking to meet up for a brew. I wasn’t really feeling it but I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and into the bath (always love a good bath!). Threw on some leggings, my “believe in yourself” top and a hoodie, teamed with my Primark £6 converse. Wasn’t really feeling the make up today but wore it anyway as my skin is horrendous. Braided my hair as was I shite messing on with straightening it today. Left the dishes, something I never do as I’m a germ freak but thought fuck it.

Got to George st and wasn’t really feeling being around people so I changed tables five times. And then my friend came.

I mean yeah…

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Why A Normal Relationship Is So Hard After a Toxic One.

Open Topic

Perfectly Imperfect Blogg

Toxic relationships are difficult because a lot of time, they don’t start out that way. They start off healthy and good and make you very happy. And the gradual shift isn’t so much caused by the other person, but sometimes two people together just stop being good for each other. And it’s hard to step away from that. 

When you’ve grown with someone then suddenly they become toxic to you, it’s hard to accept “I’d be better off without this person,” when in reality so much of who you’ve become is because of them.

When someone becomes a habit it’s hard to just cut them out of your life.

Anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship can look back at the person and they aren’t going to say they were these monsters who were horrible. There is a deep rooted love there that a lot of people struggle…

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He’s just not that into you & other revelations

blog, Amsterdam, journal

De Dutch Diaries

Sometimes he’s just not that into you. You send a text hoping for an elaborate reply on how much he misses you. Or at least any reply at all. Instead you’re left with a big fat giant ‘read’ on your Facebook messenger.

Cue social mortification.

I had a melodramatic breakdown about a week ago (which you may have caught on if you read the previous post). But I guess your 20s are just filled with existential dread and crises, one after another after another until you hit 30! I’m presuming they stop by then, right? Hopefully by the time I have my own flat in NYC,  where I will write and live a private life with my dachshund called Jimmy.

So now the emotional tidal wave has flattened out and I’m beginning an upward loop. It’s almost as if I went so far low that I’ve been catapulted to…

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