Availability

friendship, Life, Love, time

She is Sunshine Mixed with a Little Hurricane

Stop making yourself so available.

I cannot emphasize this enough. This extends to every person in your life. I get that it can be difficult, especially in dating. When you’re first getting to know someone, you want to spend a lot of your time with them and you end up planning things in your life around their schedule. That is not okay. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone. You as well as the person you’re spending a lot of your time with need to understand that you have separate lives to live that are both on different paths. Even if those paths are crossing each other for a short while or a long one.

The biggest downside about being available all the time is that people start expecting you to jump into action for them every single time. Then when you don’t, you’re made out…

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Prologue..

blog , dating , lifestyle

Venus Is Scorned

“I don’t even have TIME to cheat! When would I even find the time?”

This was an actual response that my (new) Ex-boyfriend used to defuse and deflect multiple times over the course of 10 years.

I am a very vulnerable person with a select few people on this Earth, and I am loyal to an extreme fault.

When I heard he had a dream, I used all of my resources and did everything in my power to make it come true. I do that for everyone that I love.

Over the last 10 years my resources have gotten him a musical performance career that he had only dreamed of since he started playing the guitar as a kid.

He got his fame and put me on the back burner, so over the last few months I saved up some money and ended it.

We ended on friendly terms, because…

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Modern Dating Sucks

dating, ghosting, relationships, tinder

Thoughts Of A NE Girl

This post is about a very recent dating experience that I had. It was one that I was very much looking forward to and that I felt was going quite well. As you’ll see from the below, I clearly misjudged this. I have changed my dates name, just out of courtesy. Not that he afforded the same to me.

Photo by Quaid Lagan on Unsplash

Back in July, I was just home from 3 weeks travelling in Rajasthan,
India. I’d had a fantastic time, met some wonderful people, seen some
extraordinary things and eaten some excellent food. But now I was home and it
was back to reality. As you do when you’re bored these days, I opened Tinder
and started swiping through, mostly uninterested because let’s be fair, it’s quite
hard to be attracted to someone that you don’t know.

Things changed and I got a little excited when…

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Community Starts at Home

community , community starts at home , family , how to be a changemaker , impacting the world , life advice , making change , where community really starts , where to make change

Bayance

Hey girl hey. And boy.

My mom and I were talking about giving back to the community yesterday and it went something like this.

Me: My old teacher was telling me about the number of refugees that are filling the school and the recent ones that don’t know how to read and write. She wants to accommodate for everyone but it’s super hard teaching now that there are people with different levels of ability.

Mom: Ah, the new Syrians that escaped the borders. It’s definitely been tough for them.

Me: Yeah, I want to help. But I have school to attend and it’s hard tutoring because it’s a far drive. Maybe I can start with my own neighbourhood. And just volunteer and tutor math and English in the summer. A lot of the refugee parents came here to give their kids an education too but it’s hard with the language…

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Understanding Dating, Relating and Mating

advice , connection , dating , mating , online-dating , relationships , sex

Unleashing the Cougar!

I came across this article when I was doing some research for this blog (and the book behind it) about search engine terms and questions people look to have answered on the fascinating subject of dating.

It’s interesting to read of appropriate ‘phases’ in relationships, and the idea that everything has a time and a place.

I guess we imbibe this in the many social and cultural cues that surround us from the moment we enter the world, even within our own home. Our backgrounds clearly influence who we become – if we are raised in a family of over-sharers or over-relaters, that is bound to have an affect on how we interact with others, just as the opposite is true.

Having said this, a part of me rebels at the idea of ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to go about living our lives and forming relationships. Some of the most…

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Why I’m Learning to Talk to Strangers

church, Community, Friendship, serving

Christina Hite

Our girls are two of my best teachers. They see the world so differently than I do. They’re young, free, kind, and compassionate. They don’t always know what’s expected in situations, so they’re often unencumbered by social norms and pressures.

Because of these things, our younger daughter, Kristin, talks to strangers. This is not just a once in a while thing. She actually seeks out conversation with people she does not know on a very regular basis.

Now, this probably sounds a little creepy, and at times it does make me nervous. I’m well aware that not everyone is safe, and some people don’t have good intentions. I want her to know the importance of safety and being with a grown up you can trust. But most of the time, she’s talking to strangers when we’re together, when she knows she’s safe, and when she wants to include someone.

Sometimes…

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You are not a “hero” because you love someone with a disease

disability , false pride , family , family dynamics , family dysfunction , heros , invisible illness , love , pain , pride , real love , suffering , unconditional love

DragonsandDandelions

My family always called my husband a hero because he just kept on loving me. The abuse aspect was never discussed as to him being a hero for loving me through which I’d more give him a gold star for THAT because even though I am easy to love (!!!!), It is not easy living with someone who has a trauma history even if you are as super fabulous as I am 😊. But they never cared about the trauma part he was the hero for taking care of their daughter with a disability and staying married in spite of it all!!!

My husband was put up so high on a pedastal for loving with me, taking care of me, being married to me, supporting me, JUST BECAUSE OF MY DISEASE. I can understand putting him on a pedastal because he is a straight up awesome individual! Or because he…

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