My ray of sunshine

Fighting For Freedom

I feel a bit more gratitude today which is something I can lose when I’m not in a great place.

I planned on doing nothing today but a friend text at 9am asking to meet up for a brew. I wasn’t really feeling it but I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and into the bath (always love a good bath!). Threw on some leggings, my “believe in yourself” top and a hoodie, teamed with my Primark £6 converse. Wasn’t really feeling the make up today but wore it anyway as my skin is horrendous. Braided my hair as was I shite messing on with straightening it today. Left the dishes, something I never do as I’m a germ freak but thought fuck it.

Got to George st and wasn’t really feeling being around people so I changed tables five times. And then my friend came.

I mean yeah…

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Why A Normal Relationship Is So Hard After a Toxic One.

Open Topic

Perfectly Imperfect Blogg

Toxic relationships are difficult because a lot of time, they don’t start out that way. They start off healthy and good and make you very happy. And the gradual shift isn’t so much caused by the other person, but sometimes two people together just stop being good for each other. And it’s hard to step away from that. 

When you’ve grown with someone then suddenly they become toxic to you, it’s hard to accept “I’d be better off without this person,” when in reality so much of who you’ve become is because of them.

When someone becomes a habit it’s hard to just cut them out of your life.

Anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship can look back at the person and they aren’t going to say they were these monsters who were horrible. There is a deep rooted love there that a lot of people struggle…

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He’s just not that into you & other revelations

blog, Amsterdam, journal

De Dutch Diaries

Sometimes he’s just not that into you. You send a text hoping for an elaborate reply on how much he misses you. Or at least any reply at all. Instead you’re left with a big fat giant ‘read’ on your Facebook messenger.

Cue social mortification.

I had a melodramatic breakdown about a week ago (which you may have caught on if you read the previous post). But I guess your 20s are just filled with existential dread and crises, one after another after another until you hit 30! I’m presuming they stop by then, right? Hopefully by the time I have my own flat in NYC,  where I will write and live a private life with my dachshund called Jimmy.

So now the emotional tidal wave has flattened out and I’m beginning an upward loop. It’s almost as if I went so far low that I’ve been catapulted to…

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Availability

friendship, Life, Love, time

She is Sunshine Mixed with a Little Hurricane

Stop making yourself so available.

I cannot emphasize this enough. This extends to every person in your life. I get that it can be difficult, especially in dating. When you’re first getting to know someone, you want to spend a lot of your time with them and you end up planning things in your life around their schedule. That is not okay. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone. You as well as the person you’re spending a lot of your time with need to understand that you have separate lives to live that are both on different paths. Even if those paths are crossing each other for a short while or a long one.

The biggest downside about being available all the time is that people start expecting you to jump into action for them every single time. Then when you don’t, you’re made out…

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Prologue..

blog , dating , lifestyle

Venus Is Scorned

“I don’t even have TIME to cheat! When would I even find the time?”

This was an actual response that my (new) Ex-boyfriend used to defuse and deflect multiple times over the course of 10 years.

I am a very vulnerable person with a select few people on this Earth, and I am loyal to an extreme fault.

When I heard he had a dream, I used all of my resources and did everything in my power to make it come true. I do that for everyone that I love.

Over the last 10 years my resources have gotten him a musical performance career that he had only dreamed of since he started playing the guitar as a kid.

He got his fame and put me on the back burner, so over the last few months I saved up some money and ended it.

We ended on friendly terms, because…

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Community Starts at Home

community , community starts at home , family , how to be a changemaker , impacting the world , life advice , making change , where community really starts , where to make change

Bayance

Hey girl hey. And boy.

My mom and I were talking about giving back to the community yesterday and it went something like this.

Me: My old teacher was telling me about the number of refugees that are filling the school and the recent ones that don’t know how to read and write. She wants to accommodate for everyone but it’s super hard teaching now that there are people with different levels of ability.

Mom: Ah, the new Syrians that escaped the borders. It’s definitely been tough for them.

Me: Yeah, I want to help. But I have school to attend and it’s hard tutoring because it’s a far drive. Maybe I can start with my own neighbourhood. And just volunteer and tutor math and English in the summer. A lot of the refugee parents came here to give their kids an education too but it’s hard with the language…

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Understanding Dating, Relating and Mating

advice , connection , dating , mating , online-dating , relationships , sex

Unleashing the Cougar!

I came across this article when I was doing some research for this blog (and the book behind it) about search engine terms and questions people look to have answered on the fascinating subject of dating.

It’s interesting to read of appropriate ‘phases’ in relationships, and the idea that everything has a time and a place.

I guess we imbibe this in the many social and cultural cues that surround us from the moment we enter the world, even within our own home. Our backgrounds clearly influence who we become – if we are raised in a family of over-sharers or over-relaters, that is bound to have an affect on how we interact with others, just as the opposite is true.

Having said this, a part of me rebels at the idea of ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to go about living our lives and forming relationships. Some of the most…

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