Commitment Issues 101

30s, commitment, love, relationships, single life

Not Adulting Right Now

As a single girl in her 30s, I have to constantly battle the internal and external pressures to settle down and commit to a life of misery. Oops! I mean stability. My bad….

It’s not that I don’t want to get married. I do, someday, to the right person. But here’s the thing about me. The right person for me is not the person who wants a relationship. My dude, if he exists, is not going to send me a “Good morning beautiful” text every single day. He’s not going to dote on me. He’s not going to try to impress or please me. And, he’s certainly not the person who’s looking to settle down. No, no. My guy, wherever he is, if he even exists, he’s the guy who does his thing. He’s the guy who loves me passionately but not possessively. He’s the guy that doesn’t care if…

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Listening isn’t enough.

adjusting, family, listening, personal growth, receiving, support, therapy

Chasing My Dreams


After rescheduling my therapist appointment due to illness and weather multiple times for over a month, I finally went to see her yesterday. Husband went with me after work so that we were able to window shop for his AR and my 9mm before dinner with some friends and enjoy a nice double date. He asked if I wanted him to come into the room with me and I thought why not, I have nothing to hide and nothing I say today he won’t have heard before. It was wonderful. Let me reiterate that, WONDERFUL.

My therapist let him know that coming into the room meant he was a part of it and not just there. We spoke about my original reason for beginning sessions with her, the miscarriages and the medication. We then moved on to my “homework” from the last session and my progress, triggers, stressors, and all…

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Age ain’t nothin but a number?

acceptable age gap, adventure, baggage, demanding careers, fun, good career, intimacy, kids, messy divorces, Older men, preference, privacy, younger men

The musings of a 30 something singleton

“What is an acceptable age gap”? is question that has come up repeatedly in my conversations with my friends. This is of course very personal and everybody has their own preference. My own personal view is don’t go out with anyone more than 15 years older or more than 10 years younger. Older men are very attractive because they usually have a good career, income and lifestyle and generally “know what they are doing” in dating and in the bedroom. However they may come with baggage (messy divorces, kids, demanding careers) and may be reliving a lost youth and will not necessarily want to settle down with you. A younger man usually appeals to our sense of fun and adventure, yet they may be too young to settle down and may not have much financial security. It’s not that we are expecting a guy to support us, but if he…

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“Doing My Thing” Means Loving My Man

dating, happiness, life, live your best life, love, marriage, psychology, relationships, romance

I hate when people say, “Just do your own thing!” without understanding that being one with a man is “my thing”. That is my chosen purpose in this world. That is where my ultimate happiness comes from… as well as all the things that are worth even more than happiness.

Not everyone can find happiness on their own, and that’s fine. Not everyone who can find happiness on their own is content with it. Some people want more; the infinite fulfillment that comes with merging with another.

If I’m not seeking/experiencing love with a man, then I am not “doing my thing”; because that ismy thing.

And lastly, once you’ve become one with a person, “their thing” is “your thing”, and yours is theirs.

Stop it with the isolationist bullshit. Everyone’s “thing” should be finding and basking in true romantic love.

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Friends with Benefits – Reversed

breakdown , divorce , friendship , marriage , reality , relationship , separation , sex, love, family,

Diary of a Failed Marriage

In the middle of our marriage crisis, I wrote here how Barely Husband accused me of treating him like a friend with benefits. I couldn’t deny it. A girl has needs too, you know…

It may not have been the wisest on my part and as we drifted more and more, I still wanted sex, but it became clear it wasn’t with him. Or any living being for that matter (at that point in time). There was never anyone else involved in our break-up and I still haven’t been with anyone – it fucking sucks!

We have been friendly, getting on much better than when we were together, and he came out with this gem: he wanted us to ‘go out as friends’. Erm… I was shocked speechless as he talked about it.

In a way, it made sense: we have fun and we laugh a lot; we have been…

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Love is scarce- Really ?

life, love, thoughts, thought, relationship, philosophy

Scribblers Arena

Love is scarce-Really ?The

Only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we

never give enough of is love.

― Henry Miller

Why this happens ?

We all  think that, Love means romance.But it is not so.

There are 7 types of love.

  1. Storge- Familial love
  2. Phila-friendship ( shared goodwill)
  3. Eros-Sexual or passionate love
  4. Agape-Universal love ( unconditional love)
  5. Ludus-Playful or uncommitted love
  6. Pragma- Long term love ( married people)
  7. Philautia-self love ( healthy or unhealthy)

source Psychologytoday.com, Quora)

My discussion is limited to the married couple.

Think for a second.

Can you tell  the difference between ‘school and life‘ ?

” In school you are taught a lesson and then given a test.

  In life,you are given a test,that teaches you the lesson” Tom Bodett

So what I am trying to tell is Life gives an opportunity to learn lessons  from…

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Submission

Submission is a topic that has become very controversial in our present time because of the way it’s been used and applied. Before we even go further let’s know the meaning of Submission.

It is, “the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.”

Submitting to the authority of another person, sometimes even God is a difficult thing to do in all honesty and the interesting thing about it is that we have a choice to or not. Now for this article, we will be seeing it from the biblical angle. While I am not a fan of shouting SUBMISSION! SUBMISSION!! SUBMISSION!!! at the slightest. I am 100% in support of submission.

The POWER in Submission