Purpose of living

life, living, meaning

Random thoughts.

What is existential crisis? It is the state where you start indulging in questions of deep thoughts like the meaning of your life, why you are living, and loose interest in everyday stuffs because you realize these has no importance. 

I believe these questions are ones that are hard and has no exact answer to which you’ll run into occasionally and temporary end with some conclusion. 

At the moment, with the experience of having lived 22 years, my conclusion is that purpose of life is to find more and more lovable people. Human beings are social beings and we need to be in a company, a community. I really think it is to find more people you feel comfortable with, find more people you love. A point to be noted is that the concept should not be equated to people we label as friends and family. Sometimes these…

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Commitment Issues 101

30s, commitment, love, relationships, single life

Not Adulting Right Now

As a single girl in her 30s, I have to constantly battle the internal and external pressures to settle down and commit to a life of misery. Oops! I mean stability. My bad….

It’s not that I don’t want to get married. I do, someday, to the right person. But here’s the thing about me. The right person for me is not the person who wants a relationship. My dude, if he exists, is not going to send me a “Good morning beautiful” text every single day. He’s not going to dote on me. He’s not going to try to impress or please me. And, he’s certainly not the person who’s looking to settle down. No, no. My guy, wherever he is, if he even exists, he’s the guy who does his thing. He’s the guy who loves me passionately but not possessively. He’s the guy that doesn’t care if…

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A correction – Moving was the best thing for both of us

family , happiness , motivation , moving , personal

The Daily Score

Changing ones living situation really does make all the difference in the world. Even though we have only been living in the new place for four nights, the impact has been drastic already. The other night, coming home from work, making a cup of tea and helping in the fixing of dinner, followed by some light cleaning, a little relaxation, some yoga and then reading in bed was just so much more calming, and relaxing than any night I can remember in months that wasn’t when I was on vacation.

The idea to relocate was not my own, it was my wife’s, and I am very grateful for that. We were both increasingly unhappy with the situation we were in, becoming more and more frustrated by the day. Something had to give, and finally it did. If I was living in the prior place on my own, I likely would…

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Words that hurt

bereavement , death , grief , meaning , mourning , purpose , soulmates , widowed

richwalks

Words that hurt: happiness, joy.

Phrases that hurt: ‘Rich would want you to be happy’, ‘I hope you’re enjoying…’, ‘May you find peace’, ‘this will help you heal’, ‘try and find something to smile about today’.

Phrases that help: ‘tell me about Rich’, ‘don’t hold it in’, ‘just be you’, ‘you are hurting’, ‘I wish I’d known him’.

And the best way to ask after someone experiencing profound bereavement? – ‘how is today?’ If you ask ‘how are you?’, then frankly you’re not really thinking about the person in front of you or at the other end of the phone. How the f*** do you think I am? Is the way we want to respond. But instead, of late, I just don’t bother responding at all. Because if they can’t imagine what the devastation of loss like this might feel like, and I haven’t got the energy to explain, even…

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Listening isn’t enough.

adjusting, family, listening, personal growth, receiving, support, therapy

Chasing My Dreams


After rescheduling my therapist appointment due to illness and weather multiple times for over a month, I finally went to see her yesterday. Husband went with me after work so that we were able to window shop for his AR and my 9mm before dinner with some friends and enjoy a nice double date. He asked if I wanted him to come into the room with me and I thought why not, I have nothing to hide and nothing I say today he won’t have heard before. It was wonderful. Let me reiterate that, WONDERFUL.

My therapist let him know that coming into the room meant he was a part of it and not just there. We spoke about my original reason for beginning sessions with her, the miscarriages and the medication. We then moved on to my “homework” from the last session and my progress, triggers, stressors, and all…

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A Mother’s Love Knows No Distance

college, love, mom

The Chub Script

For me, the biggest change about going to college was leaving home. Leaving my family, my dogs, and constant presence of my parents, especially my mom.

My mom is a force of nature that is as essential to my life as air is to a bird. She is the force that taught me to love and care just as she had done for me.

Although not everyone is lucky enough to have the same relationship as me and my mom, I see the love of mothers everywhere in college.

I see it in the homemade cookies left in the common room by mothers certain that their child is wasting away on cafeteria food.

I see it in the random phone call that my friends get at all hours of the day from parents who miss them too much to wait another minute to call.

I see it in the headshots…

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The importance of Language

dad and daughter, dad and daughter love, fun, magic, relationships, sidhdharth paleja, tamira, tamira paleja

Tamira Paleja

As I quote ‘If you don’t understand my silence … you will never understand my words’

My daughter Tamira has taught me that love has no language, if you want to understand and love a person there is no freakin… language barrier its the willingness to go beyond your thinking and want to understand someone who just can express.

When I am with Tamira I have no time to think anything except for her & sudd the jatapatapata language has started making sense. We exchange words with no meanings and still understand each other. Right from a 10 day old baby I have tried spending most of my time with her by just looking and reciprocating and now she does the same which is totally fun… The magic of understanding each other is beautiful and the fun times are just to precious, from getting up at 2.00 am at night…

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