Learning to enjoy time alone

alone, alone time, happiness, mcdonalds, mental health, my own happiness, self love, self worth, time, time to myself

Walking on broken glass

I find this very hard and I crave the company of others. This week is half term, and each one of my plans has fallen through. So I’m currently sat in my local mcdonalds alone trying to enjoy this time.

I see benefits of it, I really do. Yet, I still miss someone else being there. Even if you just sit in silence with them, it’s comforting to me.

So far today, I have cleared out 3 bin bags of clothes, been to the dy cleaners, been to the charity shop, donated some bedding to rspca and put my car in to be valeted, hence why I am at mcdonalds as I’m waiting for it to be done.

See, I feel to enjoy time alone, I need to love myself, which I don’t. I know my boyfriend will ask me later if I’m going to the gym, and I know…

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Learning How to Grow

fulfillness, happiness, Life

Saturday Night Wine

Growing up, my mother always used to say “life’s a bitch and then you die”.  I know, doesn’t that inspire positivity? The only thing my mother seemed to be passionate about was attempting to be the perfect daughter, mother and wife.  And she was miserable all of the time.  As I started to become more independent in life and pulled away from my family a bit, my mother seemed to build up the time we did share together, to the point where it was impossible for me to ever please her.  And, as a result, she became despondent, disappointed.  The pressure became too much for me and I pushed further and further away from her.

Slowly, I am learning I cannot depend on anyone for my own happiness, just as my mother couldn’t depend on any of us for her happiness.  I think this is a very hard lesson…

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Me, or We? You don’t have to chose.

divorce, infidelity, love, marriage, relation, relationships, spouse, trust

Relationships are complicated. They are the most intricate designs we humans take pride in. So many variations, endless possibilities. Yet, due to this very nature relations are susceptible to damages. It takes a life to rebuild it.

When we talk about two individuals, the commitment brings them together. The trust and faith they have for each other build the foundation. On the flip side, relationships flounder when they face distrust, which, unfortunately, is quite common these days. Trust can be lost through rage, lies, violence, unethical activities, drug and alcohol abuse, and sexual infidelity. Trust is the bedrock of what makes relationships work. It is the fundamental process of love and intimacy. When trust goes, what goes with it are safety, security, respect, love, and friendship, replaced by anger, insecurity, anxiety, fear; the aggrieved person becomes like the police, the FBI, and/or the CIA. Life becomes laced with arguments, large…

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