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I had this need to “connect” with them.  My approach as a “friend” was usually met with dubiety.  When I tried to counsel my children the reaction was mixed.  If my timing was right it went pretty well.  If not, it was unpleasant at best.  The teacher?  That was a real problem.  I somehow got it in my head that I was there to teach them a lesson.  One night my daughter told me she was going to a friends house.  She eventually told me she’d been with a boy.  I got very upset and called her a liar.  She got very upset and stormed out of the house.  I figured she needed to understand that lying was wrong.  What I failed to understand, but she later explained to me, was, she told me a fib to avoid the inevitable questioning, probing, teasing that she may have had to endure if she’d told me where she really was going. She was probably right. 

https://joyfullyaging.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/who-am-i