He’s just not that into you & other revelations

blog, Amsterdam, journal

De Dutch Diaries

Sometimes he’s just not that into you. You send a text hoping for an elaborate reply on how much he misses you. Or at least any reply at all. Instead you’re left with a big fat giant ‘read’ on your Facebook messenger.

Cue social mortification.

I had a melodramatic breakdown about a week ago (which you may have caught on if you read the previous post). But I guess your 20s are just filled with existential dread and crises, one after another after another until you hit 30! I’m presuming they stop by then, right? Hopefully by the time I have my own flat in NYC,  where I will write and live a private life with my dachshund called Jimmy.

So now the emotional tidal wave has flattened out and I’m beginning an upward loop. It’s almost as if I went so far low that I’ve been catapulted to…

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Learning to enjoy time alone

alone, alone time, happiness, mcdonalds, mental health, my own happiness, self love, self worth, time, time to myself

Walking on broken glass

I find this very hard and I crave the company of others. This week is half term, and each one of my plans has fallen through. So I’m currently sat in my local mcdonalds alone trying to enjoy this time.

I see benefits of it, I really do. Yet, I still miss someone else being there. Even if you just sit in silence with them, it’s comforting to me.

So far today, I have cleared out 3 bin bags of clothes, been to the dy cleaners, been to the charity shop, donated some bedding to rspca and put my car in to be valeted, hence why I am at mcdonalds as I’m waiting for it to be done.

See, I feel to enjoy time alone, I need to love myself, which I don’t. I know my boyfriend will ask me later if I’m going to the gym, and I know…

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