He’s just not that into you & other revelations

blog, Amsterdam, journal

De Dutch Diaries

Sometimes he’s just not that into you. You send a text hoping for an elaborate reply on how much he misses you. Or at least any reply at all. Instead you’re left with a big fat giant ‘read’ on your Facebook messenger.

Cue social mortification.

I had a melodramatic breakdown about a week ago (which you may have caught on if you read the previous post). But I guess your 20s are just filled with existential dread and crises, one after another after another until you hit 30! I’m presuming they stop by then, right? Hopefully by the time I have my own flat in NYC,  where I will write and live a private life with my dachshund called Jimmy.

So now the emotional tidal wave has flattened out and I’m beginning an upward loop. It’s almost as if I went so far low that I’ve been catapulted to…

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Availability

friendship, Life, Love, time

She is Sunshine Mixed with a Little Hurricane

Stop making yourself so available.

I cannot emphasize this enough. This extends to every person in your life. I get that it can be difficult, especially in dating. When you’re first getting to know someone, you want to spend a lot of your time with them and you end up planning things in your life around their schedule. That is not okay. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone. You as well as the person you’re spending a lot of your time with need to understand that you have separate lives to live that are both on different paths. Even if those paths are crossing each other for a short while or a long one.

The biggest downside about being available all the time is that people start expecting you to jump into action for them every single time. Then when you don’t, you’re made out…

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Understanding Dating, Relating and Mating

advice , connection , dating , mating , online-dating , relationships , sex

(Midlife) Adventures in 21st Century Dating & Mating

I came across this article when I was doing some research for this blog (and the book behind it) about search engine terms and questions people look to have answered on the fascinating subject of dating.

It’s interesting to read of appropriate ‘phases’ in relationships, and the idea that everything has a time and a place.

I guess we imbibe this in the many social and cultural cues that surround us from the moment we enter the world, even within our own home. Our backgrounds clearly influence who we become – if we are raised in a family of over-sharers or over-relaters, that is bound to have an affect on how we interact with others, just as the opposite is true.

Having said this, a part of me rebels at the idea of ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to go about living our lives and forming relationships. Some of the most…

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Why I’m Learning to Talk to Strangers

church, Community, Friendship, serving

Christina Hite

Our girls are two of my best teachers. They see the world so differently than I do. They’re young, free, kind, and compassionate. They don’t always know what’s expected in situations, so they’re often unencumbered by social norms and pressures.

Because of these things, our younger daughter, Kristin, talks to strangers. This is not just a once in a while thing. She actually seeks out conversation with people she does not know on a very regular basis.

Now, this probably sounds a little creepy, and at times it does make me nervous. I’m well aware that not everyone is safe, and some people don’t have good intentions. I want her to know the importance of safety and being with a grown up you can trust. But most of the time, she’s talking to strangers when we’re together, when she knows she’s safe, and when she wants to include someone.

Sometimes…

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You are not a “hero” because you love someone with a disease

disability , false pride , family , family dynamics , family dysfunction , heros , invisible illness , love , pain , pride , real love , suffering , unconditional love

DragonsandDandelions

My family always called my husband a hero because he just kept on loving me. The abuse aspect was never discussed as to him being a hero for loving me through which I’d more give him a gold star for THAT because even though I am easy to love (!!!!), It is not easy living with someone who has a trauma history even if you are as super fabulous as I am 😊. But they never cared about the trauma part he was the hero for taking care of their daughter with a disability and staying married in spite of it all!!!

My husband was put up so high on a pedastal for loving with me, taking care of me, being married to me, supporting me, JUST BECAUSE OF MY DISEASE. I can understand putting him on a pedastal because he is a straight up awesome individual! Or because he…

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What to do when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend

Lifestyle, Relationship Weddings

Michael's blog

If you find yourself falling for your best friend and you don’t know what to do, the tips below are just for you.

What to do when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend [Credit Freepik]
What to do when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend [Credit Freepik]

There are things beyond our control in life – like the family we are born into, or the people we become attracted to and fall in love with.

That’s why, sometimes, our interest drifts to people we could never have, people we should never be falling for in the first instance. But matters of the heart are hardly controllable.

That’s why you find romantic interest growing between step-moms and their step-kids, between people with decades of age difference between them, and sure, people who set out to be just friends.

It's OK to be scared when you fall in love with a friend because it could be the beginning of the end of that relationship [Credit - iStock]

iStockIt’s OK to be scared when you fall in love with a friend because it could be the beginning of the…

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FRIENDSHIP​

EXPERIENCES, LIFE

lauraantoniab

Friends make up a lot of memories in our lives, can be the support system when family can’t and make up a huge part of our lives. Friends are in every department of life; work, school, University, and family. And they can make or break you at the best and worst of times. 

I have had a lot of different friendships; ones that the other person takes and takes and ones where you take without maybe realising. I have been in both of these positions where someone would expect everything from me but give me nothing back and one where I was taking advantage of the friendship. This was not a friendship I was proud of simply because of the way I acted and the fact I no longer have this friendship because I took advantage of it. It is potentially one of my regrets in life. Because of…

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